• LOVE DOCTOR WHO?

    CHECK OUT OUR HILARIOUS PARODY BOOKS!

    Welcome to the Professor Howe page celebrating our unofficial range of charity books raising money for BBC Children in Need.

    We currently have ten books in our range, the most recent available just to preorder.

     

    All books are self contained adventures which will cause much mirth and laughter.


    CLICK ON THE PROFESSOR HOWE LOGO FOR OTHER WAYS TO SUPPORT US

  • What People Have Said...

    "Reading this really made me laugh. A lot. In fact, some parts made me do the 'lol' thing
    to the great astonishment of people sitting close to me." - C Grit

    "Read the whole thing in one go - I couldn't put it down. Hilariously funny,
    I'd definitely recommend this book and look forward to the next one." - A. Fleming

     

    "Funny and could not put it down.... Buy the book people!!!!!" - F McNamara

    "In all the books that I have read I have never come across anything quite so surreal or meta-fictional as this. It is a wonderful pastiche and parody... More please!" - M. Leney

  • What's Available?

    We have ten books so far in our range
    All can be ordered individually.

    Professor Howe and the Chaotic Courtroom

    by Don Klees

    Justice isn't blind - it's dead - well it certainly seems that way.
     
    After a lifetime of incompetence, dangerous flying and stealing biscuits, PROFESSOR HOWE must face the consequences of his actions.
     
    Charged by the Infinity Tsars with Causing Havoc Around Ordinary Situations (CHAOS), he must use every bit of hid idiosyncratic intelligence to defend himself from the procedures, practises and puns of the Prosecutor.
     
    Reliving past and unseen adventures, can the time traveller prove his innocence? Who or what are the slumberers? And why does the Prosecutor seem so familiar?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO PREORDER TODAY!

    Professor Howe and the Crafty Count

    by Jamie Hailstone

    PROFESSOR HOWE and his unfaithful companion, Barbie Cappuccino, are back in their most "fang-tastic" adventure yet.
     
    A strange Count, an evil from the dawn of time and a local vicar obsessed with St Fenwick all come together with the travellers in the small village of Wenches Finger.
     
    Can the Professor and Barbie stop the count with so much a steak? Who is the mysterious figure known as Seiko why is he coffin'? And, crucifixly, can Peter Cushion and Christopher Leek hammer out their differences?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

    Professor Howe and the Furious Foam

    by Simon Bucher-Jones

    PROFESSOR HOWE, Gloriana and Taffy discover the twenty-first holiday experience isn't all crazy golf and not quite what it was made out to be.
     
    Britnovelites and their entertainment pipeline connecting them to the tourist hotspots along the south coast is manfunctioning. The centre of it all is the appalling animatronic hub of Dinoland.
     
    Will Arthur Bobson confiscate the Professor's muffled hammer? Will Taffy manage to fix his trousers? And why is the sea yellow?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

    Professor Howe and the European Exit

    by Christopher Samuel Stone

    Poeland - a country in crisis.

    Newly elected President Horace, must balance cries of party loyalty, illicit affairs and the peoples' desire for European Decampment with fundamental beliefs of the Realists.

    Meanwhile PROFESSOR HOWE, accompanied by his trusty companion Doris, must ensure that trade negotiations succeed and he gets his beloved Brussels.

    Mr Grove, Jacob Cracker, Giles Farago, and other disparate individuals aid Horace in his fiendish scheme to relocate the country to the shores of the United States.

    Will the Decampers get what they want? Will Jacob Cracker take the biscuit? And can Beth Trussed-Up still buy cheese down the supermarket?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

    Professor Howe and the Shanghaied Scientists

    by Jamie Hailstone

    Something is amiss at Kettering Leisure Centre and we don't mean the instant coffee.

    Hosting a conference of esteemed and not so esteemed scientists, one by one they begin to disappear. Only one man could solve this problem and, unfortunately for everyone, that person wasn't PROFESSOR HOWE.

     

    Yet, with the aid of his perky assistant, Belle, can the Professor track down the kidnapped researchers and stop Barbie Cappuccino in her tracks? Will the infamous intergalactic space vixen succeed in her evil machinations to rid the world of eligible bachelors? And who will feel the bite of the Caramel Masterplan?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

    Professor Howe and the Terrible Tarrants

    by Christopher Samuel Stone

    Landing in a dead forest, PROFESSOR HOWE encounters her deadliest enemy of all - THE TERRIBLE TARRANTS!

    Becoming trapped in the creatures' city is only the first of her many problems, including radiation sickness and financial ruin.

    Can anything stop the Tarrants evil schemes? Will the travellers face 'Renovation'? And who is responsible for Alania's great hair?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

    Professor Howe and the Plastic Peril

    by Jamie Hailstone

    Colonel McDonald-McDougall-Jameson the head of ITEMS had a lot on his plate. A meteor shower of plastic bowls, dishes and various dinnerware, the appearance of a giant flying saucer, and the return of his old friend PROFESSOR HOWE.


    Needless to say, trouble always followed where the Professor set foot and this was no exception. With Miss Trustfund by his side, the peculiar goings on at the Winkles Plastic Factory had to be investigated.

     

    Why had the factory changed production to plastic cutlery? Was the Colonel's Health and Safety Protocol really necessary? And does anyone really like listening to Demis Roussos?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

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    Professor Howe and the Sinister Sneeze

    by Ann Worrall

    A video message leads PROFESSOR HOWE and Marian to the isolated outpost of Fternisma.

     

    The wonder material Phlegillium is the solution to mankind's resource problem. If only people didn't keep sneezing and dying all the time.

    What is happening on the Le Morvier station? What are the mysterious Bigwig's plans? And why didn't Marian bring his handkerchief?


    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

     

    Professor Howe and the Viciousal Vloggers

    by Ian K. Cimm

    After building an extension to his less than reliable flying saucer, PROFESSOR HOWE encounters an enemy from his past with a score to settle.

     

    Escaping to the world of Viciousal, the danger only increases. A series of sadistic challenges overseen by a mysterious game runner have to be overcome for him and his companion, Pam, to escape with their lives.

     

    Can he survive his out of control ego and horrendous dress sense? Can Pam raise enough money to buy out her contract for another twelve episodes? And is the moon really made of cheese?

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!

     

    Professor Howe and the Toothless Tribe

    by Christopher Samuel Stone

    A strange job interview in London turns out to be life changing for Alania, an innocent librarian from London.


    Along with Cy, their curiousity takes them to an apparent building site, a flying saucer and the rather rubbish traveller in space and time known as PROFESSOR HOWE.

    This is the mere beginning of a tale that puts the combined wits of our heroes against a wigged villain, and leads to the search for a very powerful woollen artefact.

    CLICK ON THE COVER PICTURE TO ORDER TODAY!